Viva Las Vegas
Episode
begins with Maria standing in front of a blackboard, recounting recent events Maria
(in
front of chalkboard): So there's been some confusion... okay a lot of
confusion. And uh, the only person who's gonna get you there is me, so let's
review, okay? Fantastic. She
picks up a piece of chalk and draws a circle on the blackboard. MARIA:
This
is their planet, off in the middle of the universe somewhere. She
draws another circle MARIA:
This
is our planet, Earth. Their planet (points to first circle); Earth (points to
second circle). With me so far? Fantastic. All right, the aliens. Max
(picture), Michael or Spaceboy (picture) as I like to call him, Isabel
(picture) and Tess (picture). They landed here in 1947. They gestated in these
really gross pods for 40 years. And then they, uh, sort of hatched. Now
there's only a few of us humans who know about them - Liz (picture), Alex
(picture), Kyle (picture), Kyle's dad (picture), and me (picture with short
hair) I hate that picture (change of picture with long hair) better. All
right, what you need to know about them. They have special powers, of course.
They use Tabasco sauce by the crate. And trying to have a relationship with
them, it's like suicide. I mean it... it's like typical bad relationship
stuff, but even weirder. For instance there's this one time when future Max
told Liz that she needed to break up with the present Max, or else the world
would end. So she did. But she ended up missing out all this romance stuff
that they would've done, like eventually eloping and getting married in Las
Vegas. (pause) Speaking of Las Vegas... Max
and Michael are running in the dark, through the halls at school. They hide
behind some lockers. MAX:
I
think we lost them. MICHAEL:
Are
you sure? (Nervous) MAX:
Not
really MICHAEL:
Where's
Isabel? MAX:
She's
gone, Michael. Now pull it together or we're gonna to be next. MICHAEL:
Okay,
okay, what - what do they want from us? MAX:
We
need a plan. We can't fly by the seat of our pants anymore. MICHAEL:
(nervous)
They gotta want something. Maybe we can talk to them. MAX:
It's
time to step it up. Face the demon. No more hiding. MICHAEL:
What
are you talking about? He
turns around to look for them and when he turns back Max is gone MICHAEL:
Max!
Maxwell? We
see people dressed like the S.W.A.T team, pointing guns at Michael, he's
really scared MICHAEL:
No,
please, no! They
start shooting at him, and he wakes up, gasping for air, touching his chest
to check on the bullet holes. He realizes it was just a dream and gets out of
bed, goes into the kitchen, and smashes the refrigerator. He then grabs a
paper bag and pulls out the money he got from the Duprees. Max's
bedroom window flies open, he wakes up a little bit scared, and sees Michael MAX:
What's
going on? MICHAEL:
We
are leaving; that's what's going on. You and I-- we're getting out of this
town for a couple of days. MAX:
What?
Why? What's wrong? MICHAEL:
I
need a road trip. I gotta clear out the cobwebs. MAX:
What
the hell are you talking about? MICHAEL:
I'm
talking about getting out of this two-bit town for a couple of days and
having some fun. Is there something wrong about that? MAX:
No,
there's nothing wrong with that. You wanna tell me what's really going on.
(He turns the light on) MICHAEL:
Nightmares,
Maxwell. I can't shake them; I've had them every night for two weeks. I mean
my brain needs a vacation, or I swear to God I'm going to lose it on someone
or something, and it's not gonna to be pretty. MAX:
Okay,
we'll take a vacation MICHAEL:
Yeah,
today, now, let's go, out of town MAX:
Today?
But ... we need a plan. MICHAEL:
Screw
the plan, let's just go. MAX:
Michael,
you gotta trust me here. MICHAEL:
Oh
come on. MAX:
We
need a cover story, so no one looks for us. So first we'll go to school.... MICHAEL:
I
cannot make it through another day of school. MAX:
Look
... just give me sometime so cover our tracks and we're out of here. Okay? MICHAEL:
Okay,
okay, okay. (He sits on the couch, and Max sits in his bed) MAX:
So...
where are we going anyway? MICHAEL:
You're
gonna love it. It's a place without rules, without responsibilities, a place
where we can forget about our troubles, it's a city of dreams MAX:
(with
a face of "what") Which would be... MICHAEL:
Vegas...
we're going to Vegas baby [OPENING
CREDITS]
We
see Max and Michael walking in school MAX:
You
know, you don't have to blow the whole 50 G's in one trip, Michael. We could
take $10,000 and still have a good time. MICHAEL:
I
don't want the money, not one thin dime. MAX:
But
just think about it for a minute. You could use that cash to build your
future. MICHAEL:
The
money was a bribe, it's tainted. You don't build your future on that. Besides
I think it's haunting me. I wanna get rid of it. MAX:
Michael,
be reasonable. MICHAEL:
(Shouting)
Hey!, I'm not gonna be reasonable. This isn't a reasonable day in my life. MAX:
Ok,
ok. That's a lot of cash to keep in your locker. We
see Michael using his powers to lock it MICHAEL:
I
defy the National Guard to open it. Now go ahead and make a plan for our
escape, and then let's go. ISABEL:
(walking
up) Go where? MICHAEL:
Nowhere.
Meet me in the lounge in fifth period and have a plan. Michael
leaves, and Max and Isabel start walking through the hall ISABEL:
Where
are you going fifth period? MAX:
We're
... going to Vegas. ISABEL:
"We".
MAX:
Michael
and I. It's really for him, he needs a break. ISABEL:
And
I don't? Do I really have to give you the list of all the things that I have
had to deal with lately? MAX:
No.
ISABEL:
Then
I'm sure I don't have to stand here and convince you that if anyone needs a
break it's your loving sister, who has asked for so little and given so much.
MAX:
No.
ISABEL:
And
I'm sure that whatever plan you come up with will work just as easily for 3
as it will for 2, right? MAX:
It
will now. ISABEL:
Fabulous,
I'll see you in the lounge later. Michael
and Kyle are in Spanish class TEACHER:
¿Dónde
est´ Felipe? CLASS:
Felipe
esta en la cocina. Kyle
throws a piece of paper at Michael KYLE:
What
you reading? MICHAEL:
(showing
Kyle a book about gambling) Vegas, baby. KYLE:
You're
going. MICHAEL:
Si
TEACHER:
¿Y
qué hace Felipe en la cocina? Kyle
responds while flipping through the book CLASS:
Felipe
come huevos. KYLE:
When?
MICHAEL:
Fifth
period, Max is making plans. KYLE:
Do
you have room for one more. MICHAEL:
Sorry,
aliens only, you understand. Kyle
takes some money out of his shirt pocket KYLE:
Put
a quarter on red for me. TEACHER:
(To
Kyle) Pepe ¿qué pasa? She
confiscates the gambling book TEACHER:
Hmmm,
detención. Los huevos son buenos. CLASS:
Los
comemos con salsa. KYLE:
(to
Michael) Triple it, or die. Tess
is walking down the hall, and Kyle catches up with her KYLE:
Hey,
hey, hey. Even though you held out on me, I'll cover with Dad, in exchange
for a dime on black. TESS:
Did
somebody step on your head in gym? KYLE:
Hey,
knock it off. I'm talking about your "Martians-only" field trip to
Vegas. TESS:
I
don't know what you're talking about, but I'm not going to Vegas. KYLE:
Oh,
maybe it's a surprise. (They pass Maria, who's looking in another direction)
Max and Michael are organizing the whole thing. TESS:
Really?
Where did you hear that. We
see Maria turning around. Then we see her with Michael walking to the patio
for lunch
MICHAEL:
You
can't come MARIA:
Why?
MICHAEL:
Because
things are gonna happen that the faint of the heart shouldn't see. MARIA:
Oh,
please! Besides how are you paying for this trip anyway? MICHAEL:
The
Dupree's money. MARIA:
That's
$50,000 Michael. MICHAEL:
Yeah,
and I'm gonna spend every cent of it. MARIA:
Oh
really? Okay, where are you staying? MICHAEL:
I
got a double on the clean & cheap. MARIA:
Okay,
how about food? MICHAEL:
There's
some buffets I want to check out. MARIA:
Okay,
you're up to about $37. What else? (Michael is quiet) Come on. Nobody can
spend money like I can spend money. You need me on this trip, Michael. MICHAEL:
All
right, tag along. But you are coming in a completely professional capacity
only. This isn't some kissy-kissy romantic retreat. I have stuff to do. MARIA:
(Very
happy) Thank you, thank you. (she kisses him on the cheek) MICHAEL:
Hey,
hey. Don't go telling everybody, and let's keep this low profile. Seriously! Maria
starts walking fast, and the she begins to run Maria
is talking to Liz in the science lab MARIA:
I
booked a suite at the Bali Hai hotel and casino. Amenities include marble
statuary, world-class shopping and lighted tennis courts. LIZ:
Vegas
just isn't my idea of fun. MARIA:
The
pool has a water slide. LIZ:
I'm
sorry. MARIA:
In
the shape of a giant flamingo. Please come with me to Vegas, Liz. Michael is
gonna be off doing some dumb guy thing, and I really need a gal pal. LIZ:
No.
MARIA:
Please.
LIZ:
Maria,
the reason I'm not going to Vegas... is because I was married there. MARIA:
What?
LIZ:
Yes,
when future Max came, he told me. We got married in Vegas at the Elvis
chapel, and it was the most romantic night of our lives. So basically, I
don't want to go Vegas -- ever. MARIA:
All
right, you know what? There's a lesson to be learned here. What happened
between you and Max is unspeakably intense, but the marriage thing never
actually really happened, so you've gotta let go of it. You've got to create
your own memories, and that's what we're gonna do in Vegas with Michael's
money. Alex
arrives
ALEX:
Ohh,
I love the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. MARIA:
Alex,
pop quiz. If you were given the chance would you rather a) Dissect pig
babies. LIZ:
Embryos.
MARIA:
Or
b) get an all-expense-paid trip to Vegas. ALEX:
When
do we leave? MARIA:
Today
after fifth period. Come on, Liz, all the cool kids are doing it. LIZ:
I
would really appreciate if you would respect my decision. MARIA:
(starts
singing) Viva Las Vegas. LIZ:
Maria
MARIA:
Viva,
viva Las Vegas. LIZ:
Maria
MARIA:
Viva
Las Vegas. Liz
looks at Alex, but Alex has nothing to say, obviously he thinks like Maria Michael
is walking down the hall and Tess catches up with him TESS:
Michael,
hey, I hope you don't mind, but I invited Kyle on our trip to Vegas, 'cause
you know, he's been really a stand-up guy, and he did, technically, save the
world from the crystals and everything. MICHAEL:
(Looks
at Tess with a "what") "Our" trip? TESS:
Yeah,
and I just wanted to let you know, too, that when I first moved to town I
felt like a complete outsider, you know, no friends, barely any family, but
you really helped me feel welcome. And this trip you know -- wow! (she jumps
up and down) It's just so great of you to organize it for us all, and we can
all use some time away, plus, I've always wanted to go to Vegas! So can I
tell Kyle it's okay? MICHAEL:
Sure
I'm glad to have him. And you, by the way. TESS:
Thank
you. Liz
is in the science lab, putting some stuff inside the science tubes. She keeps
glancing at the clock and finds herself humming Viva Las Vegas LIZ:
Mm
- mmm Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas, Viva... Scene
cuts to Michael opening his locker and taking out the bag of money. He starts
walking down the hall and as he turns the corner he sees the whole gang,
except Max and Liz, and a chauffeur holding a sign that says "Guerin
Party") MICHAEL:
This
is low-profile? MARIA:
Don't
you love that little hat? MAX:
(walking
up behind him, and speaking in the principal's voice) Going somewhere, Mr.
Guerin? (regular voice) Pretty good Principal Forrester, huh? MICHAEL:
Yeah,
you're a riot. What's the plan? MAX:
At
this very moment, the debate team is leaving for a two-day meet in Santa Fe.
According to this piece of paper, we're going with them. If anybody asks, our
original oral topic was "Space Travel: Wave of the Future or Misbegotten
Dream?" ALEX:
Catchy.
MICHAEL:
All
right, let's go. As
everybody begins to walk away, we see Liz running towards them LIZ:
Hey!
You got room for one more? MARIA:
Oh,
I'm so proud of you. (She hugs her) MAX:
Yeah,
(a little shocked) but let's get out of the hall before someone starts asking
questions. Michael
stops Liz with his arm MICHAEL:
No
lecturing, no moralizing, no whining about spending money on the homeless.
This weekend it's about fun and debauchery. You got it? LIZ:
Yeah.
I know how to have fun. MICHAEL:
Right.
We
start seeing images of Vegas with "Viva Las Vegas" playing in the
background
BELLBOY: Here we are
... the presidential suite. You've got 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, state-of-the-art
entertainment system, 6 person jacuzzi (Maria takes money from Michael's bag)
heated to a toasty 102. Is there anything else I could get you folks (Maria
gives him his tip) Uh ... thanks. I'll go get you some ice. MARIA:
(Screeching)
TESS:
(Running)
I bet they have towel warmer. KYLE:
Let's
see about some in-house porno. MICHAEL:
Hold
on! Line up, ID's out. This town has some restrictions about having fun. I'm
gonna fix that. You are no longer high school students from Roswell, New
Mexico-- you are of-age party machines. Michael
uses his powers to change the birthdates on the ID's MICHAEL:
These
are your aliases. You will use these aliases for the duration of our trip.
Sound off. KYLE:
Okay,
Harvey Wallbanger. TESS:
Piña
Colada. ALEX:
Tom
Collins. ISABEL:
Brandy
Alexander. MARIA:
Margarita
Salt. LIZ:
Shirley
Temple. MAX:
Rob
Roy MICHAEL:
And
I'm your host, Dr. Love. EVERYBODY:
(Stifling
laughter) MICHAEL:
Since
I'm sponsoring this operation, you will follow my rules. Your bank is 3
grand. This cash is to be spent here. There is no hoarding it. Rule number 2
- and this is the biggie. Rob Roy and Dr. Love run alone. You see us at a
table, you find another one. If there's no other questions ... then go out
and clobber the house. Alex
runs first, then Kyle, then Isabel, the Tess and then Maria. Max approaches
Liz
MAX:
I
was uh ... I was kind of surprised to see you were down for this kind of
trip. LIZ:
Oh,
oh, well, you know, I could say the same thing to you. MAX:
I'm
only here for Michael. He's uh ... he's kinda going through something. I just
wanna keep an eye on him. LIZ:
Oh!
So this is not a vacation for you. MAX:
It's
the last place I'd wanna take a vacation. LIZ:
Yeah,
me too. I'm just here for Maria. MICHAEL:
Hey
Shirley. Didn't you hear the Dr's orders? LIZ:
Yeah,
I'm sorry. We were just ... MICHAEL:
Good,
yeah, cool, good. Bye (he pushes her towards the door) LIZ:
Okay.
(Leaving) Bye. MICHAEL:
Oh,
she's exhausting. (To Max) It's pretty swanky huh? MAX:
Yeah,
it's great. MICHAEL:
I
mean... time for fun. Pick your poison. Blackjack, craps, roulette. MAX:
Yeah,
yeah, whatever you want. MICHAEL:
That's
not the spirit I'm looking for Robbie. But don't worry, Dr. Love will show you
the way. We
see the casino, the games, the people, and the 4 girls walking together TESS:
This
is so cool. ISABEL:
Hey.
What should we do first? Maria
is on her cell phone LIZ:
I
think we should try and play a game. MARIA:
Ok.
I'm set. I just booked a salt scrub at the spa. LIZ:
Wait,
wait. What happened to needing a gal pal? MARIA:
I'll
be an hour tops. Have fun, guys. ISABEL:
Okay,
bye. Okay ladies let's just dive in. Isabel
walks in without a problem, but the security guard stops Liz and Tess SECURITY
GUARD: Excuse
me, can I see some identification? TESS:
Sure.
SECURITY
GUARD: Nice
try, girls, the video arcade is that way. TESS:
Uh,
excuse me, we're 21. SECURITY
GUARD: Yeah
and I'm charo. TESS:
You
know, I'm sure we can find another form of I.D. in here somewhere. LIZ:
We
are 17 years old. (laughs nervously) TESS:
Mm
- hmm. Good job. LIZ:
I'm
sorry, very, very sorry. They
leave, and then we see Isabel, Kyle and Alex in a blackjack table ISABEL:
Show
me how it works. KYLE:
All
right. You put your bet here. And the point is to get to 21. Kings are worth
10, so you get another card, now you've got 16, so another card, now you go
to 25, and he takes your money away. ISABEL:
Gee!
What a great game. Thank you. KYLE:
I'm
sorry, you have to play more than one hand. ISABEL:
Kyle,
this is math, not exactly what I'm looking for in a vacation. KYLE:
Well,
this is the gambling capital of the world. What are you looking for? ISABEL:
I
guess I'll know when I see it. Later. KYLE:
All
right. ALEX:
She
is right you know. It's math. More precisely, AP Statistics, which dictates
that an all-or-nothing strategy has the best chance of beating the house. (He
bets all his money) KYLE:
That
makes no sense. Hit me. ALEX:
Hit
me. (He loses) KYLE:
You
took that one in the shorts. MARIA:
(Coming
up behind them) You will never believe what I've found in the spa locker
room. ALEX:
Oh
God. My heart hurts. MARIA:
A
booking agent is holding auditions. Alex, Alex I need the hugest favor from
you. I need an accompanist. ALEX:
I
play the bass guitar. MARIA:
No,
no. You could fake it in the piano. It's just some simple chorus change. It
first starts off with an E and then in the bridge it goes... ALEX:
(Babbling,
and then shouts) Maria -- I just lost $3000, all right! MARIA:
Alex,
I'll, I'll give you $3000, if you help me get this gig. Please. ALEX:
The
key was E, right? MARIA:
Right.
ALEX:
All
right. What's the tune? Max
and Michael are at the dice table STICKMAN:
Coming
out. MICHAEL:
Basic
rules 7 or 11 on the first roll you're golden. 2, 3 or 12 you lose your
shirt. We've got a first time roller here. MAX:
No.
You go ahead. I'll just watch. MICHAEL:
Ok,
I'm gonna roll. Trust me, Max, you're gonna love this game. It's fast, it's
loud, it's everything living in Roswell isn't. Here we go. (He throws the
dice and he gets a 6) STICKMAN:
6,
point 6. MICHAEL:
Okay,
now if I roll a 6 we win, if I roll a 7 we go bust. 6 the hard way. (To the
stickman) In for him too. (Michael
rolls) STICKMAN:
6
hard way. MICHAEL:
Ohh!
Pay the man. MARIA:
(Coming
up behind them) Amazing news. I have an audition. MICHAEL:
Now,
keep with me here folks I'm here to win and I don't see you. MARIA:
Hello?
Don't you know what my dream has been since, like, the beginning of time?
It's to start my singing career in a smoky Vegas, supper club. Michael
rolls the dice and ignores Maria STICKMAN:
7
winner. MICHAEL:
Sweet.
MARIA:
I'll
be up on stage right? In front of a great band, and I'll belt out some torch
songs, there'll be a spotlight, my makeup will be perfect. I'll have... MICHAEL:
Maria,
we had an agreement. Beat it. MARIA:
Are
you not listening to me? This could be my big break, right now. Don't you
want to come, and like cheer me on, and like give me a... STICKMAN:
7
winner. MICHAEL:
Oh!
The king, ladies and gentlemen. MARIA:
Michael!
MICHAEL:
Maria.
I'm in the middle of something important. Maria
leaves, disgusted. Isabel
is playing the slot machines. She starts looking around her, and sees all of
these couples hugging and kissing and starts feeling a little melancholic.
Then she hears a woman behind her WOMAN:
Oh!
No. Isabel
turns around and sees a woman in a stained wedding dress. WOMAN:
Oh!
No. Please hurry. ISABEL:
Are
you okay? WOMAN:
Lord
help me. Wedding's in a half and hour. My maid of honor gets food poisoning
from the breakfast buffet, and now some dumb Canadian slams into me with his
merlot. (A
waitress arrives with some water and salt, to remove the stain) ISABEL:
Let
me try to help here. (To the waitress) Thank you. WOMAN:
My
mama told me not to elope. Isabel
surreptitiously uses her power to remove the stain ISABEL:
Well,
actually, I think we've got it out. WOMAN:
Well
honey! Aren't you just my good luck charm? What's your name? ISABEL:
Brandy.
WOMAN:
Brandy,
that's pretty. I'm Tracy. Well it's so nice to meet you. ISABEL:
You
too. MEN:
Tracy?
TRACY:
This
is my hubby-to-be Glenn, and his best man, Dave. Dave
and Isabel share a look TRACY:
Brandy
just saved my behind. GLENN:
Hi.
ISABEL:
(laughing)
Oh! Hi it's nice to meet you. DAVE:
Hello.
ISABEL:
Hi.
TRACY:
How's
April. DAVE:
Hmm?
Wishing she'd never tried the crab omelets. TRACY:
Uhh!
Perfect. Well what am I going to do now? DAVE:
Well,
maybe Brandy is free for a couple of hours? TRACY:
Brilliant
Dave. Brandy, will you be my maid of honor? ISABEL:
Sure.
FAT
MAN: Ok,
blondie. You're up. Alex
is playing the piano and Maria starts singing FAT
MAN: Honey.
You've got some set of pipes. MARIA:
Well,
I... FAT
MAN: No,
I was... I was truly moved. MARIA:
Thank
you. FAT
MAN: No,
no. Thank you. Now take off your clothes. Maria
gets a "what the hell are you saying" expression on her face ALEX:
Hey!
Who do you think you are? You treat her like a lady! FAT
MAN: I'll
treat her like a stripping lady, 'cause that what she's auditioning for. ALEX:
Give
me this flyer. (To Maria) New talent, big money... Oh! Oh! B.Y.O.G-String. Max
and Michael are still playing at the same table MICHAEL:
Dr.
Love says give it up for 10 the hard way. (He wins) MAX:
You're
cheating. MICHAEL:
You
want to say that a little louder? I don't think the stickman heard you. MAX:
This
isn't right, using your power like this. MICHAEL:
Thanks
for the sermon, dad. MAX:
It's
not what we came here. MICHAEL:
No!
We came here to have fun, which is exactly what I'm doing. Folks this is the
fourth set of dice they give me. But when you have the hot hand, you have the
hot hand. Michael
rolls the dice, he wins of course and everyone cheers. Max looks at the
casino manager MICHAEL:
I
feel an 8 coming. MAX:
Michael,
he knows. MICHAEL:
He
doesn't know anything. What's he's going to say, that I'm using my mysterious
alien powers? He
rolls and wins MANAGER:
This
table is closed. MICHAEL:
What
is this crap? MANAGER:
You're
done. My advice is to take your winnings and move on down the strip. MAX:
Yeah,
we will. MICHAEL:
The
hell we will. I'm here to gamble. There's a table right over here. MANAGER:
Listen,
punk. MICHAEL:
Punk?
Michael
hits him, they push Max, and Max tries to get Michael out of the fight. Scene
closes with the security guys moving in Liz
and Tess are in the arcade TESS:
You
know what it is? It's because we're small. If we weren't so damn short, he
would have totally bought that we were 21, so what I'm going to do, I'm going
to mindwalk the security guard, making him think that we are 5' 10'' and then
we just go in. LIZ:
Tess,
I'm fine here in the arcade. TESS:
Great.
I'm stuck in the party capital of the world with Liz Parker. No, if we're feeling
dangerous we could challenge a couple of 8 year boys to foosball or go for
the ice capades. LIZ:
You
know, for your information I didn't want to come to Vegas in the first place.
I knew that this was going to be the most miserable trip of my life. I knew
it, but I didn't listen to my instincts. And by the way Tess, I don't enjoy
being stuck with you either. TESS:
Fine.
LIZ:
Good.
In
the presidential suite, we see Tracy and Glenn leaving, and Maria and Alex
arriving
TRACY:
Oh!
I almost forgot. (She throws her bouquet at Isabel) Bye. GLENN:
Thanks
for everything, Brandy. ISABEL:
No
problem. MARIA:
Do
I have to ask? ISABEL:
Tracy
and Glenn just got married and I was their maid of honor. MARIA:
Who's
that? ISABEL:
That's
Dave. Cake? Isabel
is taking a picture with Dave when the phone rings MARIA:
Honeymoon
suite, Margarita speaking. MICHAEL:
Maria,
it's me. MARIA:
Me
who? MICHAEL:
Yeah
funny. MARIA:
Do
you know were I was tonight? I was auditioning to be a stripper. Little
innocent me. MICHAEL:
Did
you get the job? MARIA:
You
don't even care. This wouldn't have happened if you have been with me. MICHAEL:
Is
there someone else I can talk to? MARIA:
We
are talking. MICHAEL:
No,
I can't, I'm in jail with Maxwell. What you need to do is shut your trap and
get down here and bail us out. MARIA:
Wait
a minute. If you're in jail that means that this is your only phone call. MICHAEL:
Exactly.
Maria
hangs up the phone Kyle
is still at the blackjack table and Alex is with him again ALEX:
Doesn't
Buddhism disapprove of gambling? KYLE:
Actually
Buddha himself first coined the phrase "know when to hold 'em, know when
to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run" ALEX:
And
yours is obviously a deep and abiding spiritual faith. Maria
arrives
MARIA:
All
right, boys, cash out. KYLE:
You're
just gonna have to back off. ALEX:
Yeah,
grasshopper's on a roll baby. MARIA:
I
gotta bail Max and -- if there's enough money -- Michael, out of jail. KYLE:
My
winnings, my money, go away. MARIA:
(To
the dealer) He's in gambling anonymous, I'm his sponsor. Could you please
help me keep this poor lost soul from further traveling the path of
destruction? DEALER:
(To Kyle_ I'm sorry sir. Casino policy. KYLE:
(To
Maria) Thank you. MARIA:
Thank
your higher power. Kyle
tries to pick up his winnings but he can't because there are too many Isabel
is dancing with Dave in the room DAVE:
You
must be a pretty high roller to afford a place like this? ISABEL:
It's
a friend's. DAVE:
Oh.
Is your friend a Kennedy or something? ISABEL:
More
like a prince. DAVE:
Oh!
I'll tell you, this has been great. Free trip, free tux, slow-dancing with a
beautiful girl in a penthouse suite. ISABEL:
You're
easy to please. DAVE:
You're
not. ISABEL:
You're
way ahead of the game, Dave. Do you really want to risk it all with anymore
of your insightful questions? DAVE:
(Laughs)
Well, first I have to get my sisters to work on some new material. ISABEL:
I
think you're doing pretty good on your own. They
kiss
DAVE:
May
I suggest a change of venue? ISABEL:
What
did you have in mind? DAVE:
I
have a hotel room up the strip. ISABEL:
This
is a hotel room. DAVE:
I
was thinking of something a little more private. ISABEL:
Well,
I have to think about it. They
kiss again
ISABEL:
Ok.
I thought about it. Let's go. Max
and Michael in jail MAX:
Are
we having fun yet? MICHAEL:
No,
thanks to you. MAX:
Hey!
This isn't my fault. If you hadn't been showing off-- MICHAEL:
Here
we go, another lecture. Michael
turns around and starts yelling MICHAEL:
Hey,
everybody gather 'round your cell doors, because Max here is going to give
another lecture. MAN:
Shut up! What's with you? MICHAEL:
What's
with me? Not you, definitely not you. MAX:
What
the hell is that supposed to mean? The only reason I came on this trip was
for you. MICHAEL:
Oh
yeah, out of the goodness of your big, fat, bleeding heart. You skipped out
on sixth period, and you went to Vegas for poor screwed up Michael. Yeah, big
hand Max (Starts clapping) MAX:
(Scoffs)
Whatever. You're talking to yourself now, Michael, I'm done. MICHAEL:
And
I'm talking to myself. Gee, Michael, why would you want to go to Vegas with
Max in the first place? Sounds like a really stupid idea. Michael:
No,
no. See you don't get it. Max and I, we're guys, and sometimes guys just like
to go out and tear it up for no good reason. MICHAEL:
But
Michael, Max is no fun, he's a straight arrow, he's a responsible guy. MAX:
I'm
here, aren't I. MICHAEL:
(To
Max) This is a private conversation. MICHAEL:
As
I was saying, Michael, it's like this: Max and I, we used to be tight. We
grew up together, and it's no big deal that we can go out and have fun for a
couple of days, we used to be friends. MAX:
Oh!
Give me a break. (He stands up) This isn't about friendship. This is about
your irresponsible, reckless behavior. MICHAEL:
(He
stands up too) Hey! I've been going through some heavy stuff the last couple
of weeks. In case you missed it, I got shot. MAX:
I
know, I healed you. MICHAEL:
You
put your hand over my shoulder and you did your little trick like a robot.
You're a machine, Max. You wouldn't know the first thing about what it takes
to heal me. To really heal me. Max,
Michael and Maria arrive back at the hotel room after she's bailed them out.
Max picks up the phone and dials, Michael sits down and turns on the TV.
Maria is trying to figure out what's going on MAX:
Yeah,
when's the next flight to Roswell? Nothing sooner than that? (He hangs up the
phone) MARIA:
Michael,
make him stay. (Maria walks toward Max) No, no, wait, please, please, don't
go. I'm, I'm blowing the rest of Michael's cash on a beautiful expensive
dinner. I've even taken care of what everyone's wearing. MICHAEL:
He's
not invited anymore. Maria
looks at Michael and Max looks at her MAX:
Thanks,
but I'm just gonna go home. (He leaves) MICHAEL:
Finally
my vacation can begin. (He gets up from the couch) Liz
is still playing in the arcade. Max walks up behind her. MAX:
Not
bad. LIZ:
Oh,
well, yeah. Yeah after playing 6 hours and a 1000 quarters, you sort of get a
rhythm going. MAX:
Yeah,
I heard you were down here. I just want to let you know I'm leaving. LIZ:
Oh!
Is everything okay? MAX:
Yeah,
yeah. It's just... Vegas. Kinda make your skin crawl. LIZ:
Yeah.
(She looks at the "Elvis Chapel" poster) I mean, who would ever
want to get married in an Elvis Chapel, right? MAX:
(Looks
at the poster also) Not me. Not in this lifetime. LIZ:
(distracted)
Yeah... MAX:
Well,
I've got a plan to catch, so... LIZ:
Yeah,
right. MAX:
See
you in Roswell, Liz. LIZ:
Yeah.
Max
is waiting for a cab outside. When the cab arrives, a bride and groom get
out. Max turns around to look at them, and he has a vision of Liz and him
just married and looking happy. Max slowly gets in the cab. In
the next scene we hear a band playing, people dancing, and then we see
everyone, except Max and Isabel, all dressed up and seated at a table. MARIA:
Now
this is the Vegas that I love. Alex
strands up and takes a picture of everyone ALEX:
All
right. Smile, beautiful people. Yeah, there we go. MARIA:
(To
Michael) You cleaned up nice, spaceboy. I'm sorry that he didn't make it. MICHAEL:
Well
I am not. I'm thinking a cheeseburger will go down nice right now. MARIA:
You
had lobster. MICHAEL:
Yeah,
but I'm still hungry. I'm gonna go hit the fast food joint across the street.
Green, please. Maria
takes some money out of her dress MICHAEL:
Thanks.
(He walks off) MARIA:
Cheeseburger?
Why do I even try? LIZ:
Well,
at least he wore a tie. MARIA:
Liz,
I'm worried. I plan to be a worldly woman, and how can I be, when Michael is
trapped in a world of armpit farts and PlayStation? He's just so... We
hear drums rolling, they all turn around and we see Michael on the stage MICHAEL:
Ladies
and gentlemen, tonight you're in for a rare treat--a dream coming true.
You're gonna love listening to this performer, and even though she'll never
believe it, I love listening to her too. Maria
is in shock, then she smiles MICHAEL:
Please
welcome to the stage... Miss Margarita Salt. Maria
starts singing as Michael watches from behind the curtains TESS:
(To
Kyle) We're dancing. (She pulls him onto the dance floor.) Alex
is taking pictures when he sees Isabel next to him ALEX:
I
uh. I thought you had other plans. ISABEL:
I
thought I did too. I don't get it. He was exactly what I was looking for from
this town. A good-looking smartass, that I could just chew up and spit back
out, you know? ALEX:
But?
ISABEL:
But,
he went to get ice and I went to get a cab. And so here I am, alone again.
God, I must be the biggest freak on the planet. ALEX:
Well,
I'm sorry but that's just not true. When you're ready for it, you'll find
someone, and you'll make him the happiest man ever. Isabel
looks at him ISABEL:
Would
you like to dance? ALEX:
Love
to. Liz
is sitting by herself at the table, looking at her friends. There's a tap on
her shoulder and she looks up to see Max holding out his hand out to her.
Michael sees him and smiles. Liz takes his hand and they begin to dance. LIZ:
I
thought you'd be at the airport right now. MAX:
I
was on my way, but I had this weird moment. LIZ:
What
do you mean? MAX:
Well,
I saw this vision. You and me, jumping out of the cab like we'd just been
married in Vegas. LIZ:
That's
weird. MAX:
Yeah,
it was like this memory flash of something that really happened, but then... LIZ:
Max.
Oh Max. (It looks like she might be going to tell him about Future Max, but
then the moment is lost.) Maria
stops singing, everyone is clapping, Maria turns to Michael and motions for
him to come over to her MARIA:
Thank
you. MICHAEL:
You're
welcome. They
kiss
Everyone
arrives at the suite, Max and Liz holding hands and everyone is laughing.
Then they see sheriff Valenti sitting on the couch and he holds up the
"Guerin party" sign. Everyone freezes. VALENTI:
At
3:30 yesterday afternoon, Vice-principal McClure contacted me. Apparently, my
son didn't show up for detention. Newsflash to me, so I called some of Kyle's
friends. Nobody knew where he was. So I made a few other inquiries, and
without alarming any of your parents I deduced that you were all missing. By
4:30 I was in a panic. Thought maybe it was a mass kidnapping or an invasion.
I knew you guys had to be in some kind of trouble, because there was no way
that you would just take off without telling me. MAX:
We
just took a little vacation. MICHAEL:
It's
like spring break. VALENTI:
So
you skipped school. Missing class is excusable if it involves saving a
planet-- yours, mine, or any other. It is not acceptable if it is done in the
name of under-age gambling. Is that clear? Each one of your parents is going
to hear from me later today. I expect you back in Roswell this afternoon.
Kyle, get in the car. KYLE:
I
was up $1600. VALENTI:
Now!
Valenti
and Kyle leave. MICHAEL:
I'm
glad I'm adopted. TESS:
Yeah,
me too. VALENTI:
Tess!
Don't make me come back in there. Tess
leaves
MAX:
(To
Michael) You, uh, tired? Max
and Michael go out to buy a cup of coffee MICHAEL:
That's
the last of it. (He tips the lady) MAX:
You,
uh, you were right. I do act like a machine sometimes. MICHAEL:
Forget
it, I probably said too much. MAX:
No,
it's all right. It's uh, it's something I needed to hear. You needed a
friend, and you got a chaperone. I'm sorry. I guess I just feel so responsible
for you, and Isabel, and even Tess. Sometimes I let that get in the way of
letting you know how much... how much you mean to mean to mean. That without
you, uh, uh... I'd be lost, Michael. MICHAEL:
Whoever
sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as
long as we stick together, we're gonna make it. They
start walking down the sidewalk together MAX:
We
still got a couple of hours before the flight home. No money. So what do you
want to do? MICHAEL:
Oh,
I don't know. I got a couple of dozen DVD's back in the hotel room. MAX:
Yeah?
MICHAEL:
Braveheart?
MAX:
How
many times can you watch that thing? Episode
ends with them chit-chatting about Braveheart, with "Viva Las
Vegas" playing in the background. |